The Future is the Past is the Future Edition.

Once upon a time in a place called the late 1990’s everything was arguably better. Sure, history is viewed through rose colored glasses and all that fun stuff, but before there was Millennial Gray, my generation witnessed a rise in retro nostalgia that put us on that track.

Watching the last flicker of the Greatest Generation and monetary comfortable Baby Boomers salivate over the designs of yesteryear the late 90’s saw a boom in heritage inspired designs. The curves and chrome, now made of cheap Chinese plastic, wrapped everything from boom boxes to full size jukeboxes. All the boxes! With a compact disc player hidden in the front and the afterthought cassette slot on the side.

Not relegated to just cheap music player nostalgia cash grabs, car companies didn’t just hop on the proverbial wagon, they were at the forefront. As with most things I write it really starts with Volkswagen and its Concept 1. For those unindoctrinated into the love hate relationship that is VW obsession, the Concept 1 is the precursor to the “New Beetle.”

Why was it called the Concept 1? Because its spiritual predecessor was the Type 1. Yes, the original rear engine, air-cooled Beetle’s official name was the Type 1. The Bus being the Type 2, then the Type 3 line (Fastback, Squareback, Notchback), and finally the big old Type 4 which was VW’s last evolution of rear engine air cooled design. Are there variants in there? Sure, but the hierarchy is, to a lesser extent, a simple explanation.

To say the introduction of the Concept 1 was a big deal in 1994 is an understatement. The United States had been Beetle-less since 1979 and the retro inspired futuristic shape gave even the most hardened automotive journalist pause. But the “New Beetle” isn’t the reason we are here today. No, no sir. The imitators that followed, that’s whose fate we are going to seal.

1). The Chrysler PT Cruiser.

Up first we have everyone’s favorite car to hate. The PT Cruiser. In 2001-not a Space Odyssey- just a year after the General brought us the Pontiac Aztek, Chrysler dropped the PT Cruiser. A retro inspired wagon built atop a Neon chassis and made famous by Bam Margera’s mom. Well, amongst others. Now known as the punchline of numerous car enthusiast jokes, the PT Cruiser was once so in demand that dealers marked it up like a special edition Mustang. Impressive considering it was nothing more than a jazzed-up subcompact.

Boasting impressive production numbers (1.35 million) and a GT variant with modest horsepower (215-230hp) the PT Cruiser became a staple in a turn of the century American automotive landscape. Like the Creed and Nickelback of cars, it sold millions, but you can never find someone who admits to liking them.

2.) The Chevrolet HHR

You may not know the name Bryan Nesbitt, but he’s the guy who designed the PT Cruiser. Consequently, he ALSO designed the Chevrolet HHR. General Motors saw what Volkswagen had done with the Concept 1 and New Beetle. Then saw Chrysler and their PT Cruiser and thought, “We need to get in on this trend.” The best way to accomplish this… poach the designer of the later.

Nesbitt, now the Senior VP of Global Design at GM, was one of the youngest GM designers when Bob Lutz tasked him to resurrect a rejected sketch. This concept would eventually become the HHR. GM preferred the term “heritage” over “retro” which resulted in the name Heritage High Roof or HHR. Modeled after the original Suburban and sharing components with the then new Cobalt, it became the wagon variant for Chevy’s small car segment.

The HHR provided a unique commercial option as well, offering panel versions where all or some of the rear windows were deleted and the back seat was converted to a flat load floor. The majority of used HHRs on the market today tend to lean more towards these models as they were part of a fleet and regularly maintained. There was also an SS option with a 260 hp turbocharged engine from the Pontiac Solstice GXP.

3.) The Chevrolet SSR

Also known as the “Boomer Zoomer” this two door, retractable hard top pickup truck did fill any current segment. It revived one. The Roadster Utility vehicle was something that faded out in the early to mid-1940s, although it spirit would be kept somewhat alive through souped up and slammed midsize pickups, just lacking a removeable hard top. You know, mostly Chevrolet S-10s.

Was it a good pickup truck? No. Was it a good car? Nah. Was it good looking? Subjective. Heavy, initially underpowered, and a truck that wanted to be a sports car, the SSR rolled off the factory floor as a mass manufactured identity crisis. Even with a power boost early into its run, the SSR never really hit the way the PT Cruiser or even the HHR did.

So which would you Hoon, Kill, or Collect? Vote below!