I realize I’ve been absent to my reader. Not plural, as I’m not trying to being lofty about my hopes and dreams. Like most of you I don’t have the luxury of doing this full time. I’ve got a job and this ain’t paying the bills. Plus there is all the adult things:

Family, work (again), bills (again), responsibilities. You know, all the fun things.

One of those responsibilities has to do with my oldest son and making sure he is honored and remembered. I’ve previously talked about my son Josh and the impact his loss has had on our lives. To honor him we started a non-profit in his name to support kindness, promote his interests (computers, cars, etc.), and aid those who struggle with the things he did (dyslexia).

In my time between then and now I was working on formatting and publishing a graphic novel available on Amazon featuring Josh. All the proceeds will go to support his charity and I couldn’t have done it without author and long-time friend Dawn Best our amazing illustrator Bimswhel.

What does this have to do with the Grand Tour? Nothing. But in my absence, something… odd happened. I imagine there is an automotive journalist and online creator club. One where all the most influential presenters and writers gather in a room. Perhaps a castle? With red velvet, highback chairs. Grey brick walls covered in shelves containing every book and magazine even remotely dealing with cars. Maybe even one of those little wheelie ladders?

Point being, I’m not really in any inner circles. I periodically message with some notable people, but suffice to say my day to day is focused on my family and my job. So, imagine then, to my surprise when the official Grand Tour socials published a video with the description “A cheeky spin on snog marry avoid for the petrolheads.” Their newly minted hosts debating which of three cars, they’d “Hoon, Kill, or Collect” or as they call it “Drive, Buy, Destroy.”

In the words of James May, Jeremy Clarkson, and Richard Hammon, “I’m staggered, I really am.” The thought that one of the major, if not THE major automotive content producers had the same idea I’ve been doing – on and off – for the better part of a decade left me speechless. I was literally without speech.

Also, Grand Tour peeps… I’m open to working with/for you!

Talk about feeling validation. Like maybe my ideas aren’t a dead end? Perhaps someday I can get into that castle. Sit in the highback red velvet chair. Again, no lofty dreams here. No assumption was made that producers had stumbled across my modest space and copied this piece. If anything, I was inspired by Jalopnik and then The Autopian’s “Shitbox showdown.”

**Side note the word shitbox is NOT in the Microsoft word dictionary***

Me being me, I tried to do a bit of internet sleuthing and came across something else quite interesting. First, there is no record of any other automotive version of F**k, Marry, Kill. Second, Google AI – being the aggregator that it is – was not only able to identify AUTODODO and “Hoon, Kill, Collect” as a thing but actually allows you to play the game. All based on the rules outlined in my previous posts!

I’m going to make HKC a monthly segment. You’d be surprised the amount of research that actually goes into brief histories of three cars. Additionaly, working on the graphic novel wasn’t the only thing I’ve been up to. I have huge news coming up. I wasn’t going to publish a “where I’ve been” article until I was ready for an announcement but The Grand Tour seemingly forced my hand.

Stay tuned in the coming weeks for something truly madly, deeply crazy!